Prince Charming

My life.. The end of its vocabulary is "no happiness". That's my final page. I never know happily ever after. I always imagined how things end in my life. Before I sleep I always imagined how good if things turn out this way, that thing turn out that way. I always imagined that I am always a victim. Happiness looks so alien to me. I'm scared of it. I'm scared to be happy. I'm scared to laugh. I'm scared it might end.

I'm afraid to like this person. I remember when I was 10, I used to have a crush for this boy, R. We are tuition mate. We studied together. I could say that he's my first love. Errr maybe.. hahahhaha... and I told my BFF that I liked R and turns out, my BFF also have crush on him and maybe she jealous of it. and one day she told R about my feeling towards him. HAHA! what do you think would happen?

And after that, during tuition session. He came and throw his books in front of me and he said 

"Kau ingat aku suka orang macam kau?"

And i quit that tuition session. Hmmm...

So i stopped telling people how I'm feeling and I feel that I'm not worthy. cos I'm fat, I have dark skinned and forever I'm waiting that prince charming that will see my heart not how I appeared on the outside. 

Now that I'm growing up, I still haven't found this prince charming. cos apparently he doesn't exist. What you have is only you. Only you can validate the value of yourself, honey. :)